Night TerrorsAuthor: mikazuki_chanChapter:
AsagixKaryu (mentioned AsagixMiyavi, KaryuxMiyavi)Bands:
D, D'espairsRay, SoloRating:
Karyu's lying awake, waiting for Asagi to come homeWarnings:
mentions of a threesome, yaoi, angstComments:
i don't think this is up to my regular standards... also, this is based on roleplay muses, so there will be discrepancies between characterization and projected personas. further, this was written for the writing challenge community hoursoftheday
and is for the prompt 1:00amDisclaimer:
i don't own any of these people. honest! and i don't get paid either..... though i think i should >> lol
It’s one o’clock, and I don’t know where you are. I’ve been staring at the clock for the last hour. I watched the minute hand and second hand hit the twelve at the same time, the hour hand prominently pointing to the one. It’s one o’clock in the morning, and you’re not here.
The seconds continue to go by, each small “tick” sound echoing in my ears before the next one comes. I wonder what’s keeping you away. Did you go out drinking with the band and forget to call? Was there an emergency? Did practice just go really late and no one noticed?
Or… is there another reason? I don’t want to think of any other reasons. I don’t want to think about the way he looked at you. I don’t want to think of the words he spoke when he thought I couldn’t hear. I don’t want to think of the words I didn’t hear you say in response. Your silence was so difficult to listen to, not knowing what your reaction was to his confession. Did you shake your head, or did you kiss him? His tears, the sobs so easily heard, could have meant anything. Did you accept him, or reject him?
Five after one.
Are you out there, walking home, the car having broken down? Or are you on your way to my place, forgetting that I stayed here when you left for practice this morning? I refuse to think that you might be with him. That you might be touching him, kissing him, reassuring him that he can have some part of you when you promised yourself to me.
Ten after one.
Every sound draws my eyes to the door of the bedroom, but none of them sound even remotely like your tread. I’m fooling myself, lying in this cold, empty bed. You’re not coming home tonight. Something else was more important. Someone else.
I wish I could blame him. He stepped in, knowing that you and I were together. But the look in his eyes when he watched you… I don’t know if he even knows that he loves you. You had me fuck him, maybe to reassure me that he wasn’t taking my place, that he was the one that could be tossed away at the end, but when I was taking my pleasure in him, I could tell he was just enduring. He didn’t want that threesome, not like you and I did. He was doing it just for you. Debasing himself to give you what you wanted from him. I knew when I saw you fuck him after. He wasn’t just enduring then. He was giving everything he had.
No, I can’t blame him for loving you. You said you met both of us around the same time. He probably developed feelings for you at the same time I did. It’s not his fault that you gave me the title of your koi. And it’s not his fault that he felt devastated when he realized what you and I had.
But how I wish I could believe it was.
I wish that I didn’t sympathize with him because then it would be so much easier to hate him. To hate the man that I fear is taking you away from me. The man I think you might be with right now, holding him and telling him how special he is.
I need you to be here so that I won’t think like this! So that I can stop worrying and know that you’re still mine…
I hear the front door open quietly. No voices, and only one set of footsteps. It sounds like you’re home.
No lights, but then I’m sure you know where everything is in your house without them. The bedroom door opens and I see your silhouette against the slightly brighter darkness of the hallway.
“Karyu… are you awake?” Your voice is soft and I can’t help but smile at the rare tenderness colouring the quiet question.
“…hai… I was waiting for you…” I whisper back, sitting up slightly and putting my arms out to you. All I want right now is to feel your arms around me. Tomorrow I’ll want the rough sex, the vampiric fetishes, the blood and violence. But right now at thirty-two minutes after one, I just want to be held and reassured that you really do care.
And like that, you’re in my arms, holding me close and kissing a slightly darker spot on my throat. The heat of your breath against my ear as you whisper to me again is mildly arousing, but I try to control myself. “You didn’t need to wait for me. I had some last minute things to discuss with Ruiza-kun about the upcoming tour. Our management made some interesting decisions about hotels that we had to rework. I’m sorry that it took so long.”
Relief flooded through my body at those words. A legitimate reason for you to have been missing, and it didn’t involve him. “I didn’t want to sleep without you… I was worried.”
The smile of your lips against my throat is almost a reward in itself. You smile so rarely. Genuine smiles, anyway. “What were you worried about?”
A sigh escapes my lips at the question. I don’t really want to tell you, but I always want you to tell me the truth about what’s wrong when you’re upset. “…I was worried that you were with Miyavi-san…”
I can feel your body tense, though whether it is surprise or guilt bringing the tension, I can’t tell without seeing your face.
“Why would you think I was with him?” Your voice is completely neutral which brings forth my fear once again.
I take a deep breath. I have to know, once and for all, though I’m not sure what will happen when I know. “The other night… when he was here… I heard him say that he had… strong feelings for you. I’m worried… that you might feel the same about him. That you’ll leave me for him.” I pull back just enough to see your face. It gives no clues to your thoughts, positive or negative. “I have to know Asagi… do you want to be with him?”
A slight smile touches your lips before they descend on mine in a gentle kiss. “I don’t. I want to be with you, Karyu. You’re perfect to me. Just the right amount of sweetness and caring mixed into that dark, violent passion that we share. Miyavi-kun would be consumed by that passion, utterly corrupted and destroyed. Yes, he has feelings for me, but I told him, as gently as I could, that he had to let them go, that they would only hurt him.” Another smile touched his lips. “Don’t worry about things like that anymore, all right? You claimed me, remember?”
His hand found mine and guided it to a mostly healed bite on his shoulder, a mark that I had made on him only yesterday morning. The morning before that now, I realized.
Another sigh was released from my lips, this time one of relief. Miyavi wasn’t in the picture. I didn’t need to try and hate him. I could just feel sorry for him that his love wasn’t returned, but still feel fine knowing that the soloist had never truly been competition for me. I could genuinely hope that he would find someone to love him without worrying that he would steal the man in my arms for that purpose.
“You must be exhausted.”
I looked at the clock again. Quarter to two. I really was tired. The numbers kept blurring in front of my eyes.
“Come on. Let’s sleep. We’ll talk again in the morning, and I’ll make sure you know that you’re the only one for me.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the promise in those words. I had the feeling that I would be much more tired in the morning.